Sunday, May 18, 2008

MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT...



Hard Night in the NICU...
I hate having to write this right now. Fionn had the best day today, he improved all day and we were happy and in great spirits all day. I had just nodded off to sleep and one of the docs from the NICU came up because Fionn was in trouble. After we left him tonight he started having some problems breathing so they watched him for a while and turned his O2 back up. They told us this could happen, he had a big day, so we should not be alarmed if we came in tomorrow morning and his O2 levels were up. We were prepared for this, after all, it was a GREAT day. Just look at that face, life was great tonight.
So back to the doctor waking me up...They had to put Fionn on a Vent tonight and came up seeking permission for a central line. He wasn't a fan of them sticking him for all the blood work and they told us he was a "hard stick" and they were having to stick him over and over again to do all the tests. With this line in, it would make life easier for him. Greg and I(through our tears) agreed to let them put in the central line and are just waiting for word right now so we can go back down and be with him. The doc that came up is not my favorite doctor in the NICU so that alone gave me some anxiety. The doc that we dealt with all day told us how great Fionn was doing and the more we touched and talked and held the better. This doctor basically just told us to wait until tomorrow...we stuck with our nurses and original doc and loved him all we could.
They did just let us race down before the central line went in to see him and he clung to our fingers. He is still breathing on his own, the vent is just there to help in case he gets "tired" and they gave him a shot of Cerfactin(sorry is spelling is wrong) to help his lungs out a little bit. So far it looks like it's helping even though we are now taking a few steps back and now they have to tell us what could still go wrong at this point...
We will no longer be able to hold him, or really touch him. They will have to put him in an isolette as well instead of the bed he was in. Greg and I are headed back down there to spend the night with him in his room just talking to him. We just want him to hear our voices. I am so worried about Maggie in the morning. She got to hold him tonight and fully expects to tomorrow as well. She is, once again, sleeping in Mommy and Daddy's bed tonight for comfort, so i'm still a little concerned for her. Please pray for her, that she, in that amazing little four year old mind, comprehends that he is okay, and will be okay, he just needs a little help right now.
Please, please continue to pray for Fionn. Originally it was just two days of being in the NICU, now we have no real answers. I'm longing to hold my precious baby boy, that little bit of time i got with him tonight was not enough. He calmed down once his head was on my chest and he could hear my heart. I long to fall asleep with him on my chest and to be able to feed him. I've still not been able to nurse him and we were shooting for that in the morning. There's just something unsettling about not feeding your newborn.
Please pray for Greg and I as well, we are really struggling with all of this and are trying hard to find answers to why this happened to Fionn. Everything looked great with him my whole pregnancy until just a couple days ago. I am really hoping a shower will make me a feel a little better, so im going to wrap this up so i can get that accomplished before they call that his procedure is over.
I will post again soon! Please feel free to leave us comments and let us know you were here!

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