Friday, May 30, 2008

Our Memorial Day!

Fionn is restless tonight, so i'm actually going to get to blog again! He is quite the little inch worm and he wiggles all over the place, so we have to be careful about where he is laying! Greg says he just always wants to be on me, but i don't think it's me...just my chest! LOL odd since he doesn't want to nurse! That's a whole other story though, and i'm hoping it improves before it becomes an issue! I'm sure there will be more on that subject later!

We had a very lazy Memorial Day this year. It was so great just being home all together that we really didn't have the desire to go anywhere during the day.
As you can see Mag was just happy cuddling on our bed with Fionn. She really got a chance to just touch him on Monday, to just explore him. She loves being a big sister so this was so great for her! She told him all about Hanna Montana, you know the "important stuff" about watching tv, who was cool and who was silly, that sort of thing. It didn't matter to her what they were watching, as long as she got to be there with him. It's cute, if she hears Fionn cry, she yells "i'm coming Fionney" and then she tells us he needs his big sister, lol.
After we spend the day snuggling, we got ready for the Pens game...

Long week!

I'm sorry we haven't blogged in a few days, it's been one CRAZY week! I forgot how tiring having a newborn actually is! Add his stressful first week to the mix and we're still playing catch up(on time and sleep) He did so great last week in the NICU about being in the isolette and letting me put him down, but all bets were off once we got him home. His favorite place to sleep is on our chests and when we try to put him in the bassinet he wakes up and cries until we pick him back up! So instead we take turns letting him sleep on us at night...Probably not the best plan, but it feels so great having him with us, how do you say no?
He's still been watched pretty carefully by nurses and doctors this week, and i'm happy to say is back up to his birth weight of 6.11 Since Sunday he's gained 5 oz and is still going! His little cheeks are starting to get more round again and i just can't stop looking at him.
We've had quite the week, Fionn made his debut on the world this week, that's for sure. Tuesday was so busy, and he got to meet all of Maggie's friends between dance class and t-ball! He was the star after Maggie's t-ball game, and her two friends Sophia and Grace were so excited to meet him, it was great!
Weds. we had to go find him some clothes, can you believe that one? I thought we were so prepared, but since we assumed he was going to be bigger like Maggie was, we didn't really buy anything little. He had some newborn stuff(thank you again to everyone for the gifts) but even that all is HUGE on him! Sooo now we wait for it to get here! We bought him some stuff online, and we went to one local Gymbo and got him a couple pieces, and mema and pop-pop were wonderful and went to gymbo in erie and picked us up what they had, so i'm hoping when it all gets here we'll have a few more options. His little feet don't even go into the legs of his newborn sleepers yet, so it's fun to try and dress him. Good thing it's been pretty warm out at night so a diaper and a blanket have been okay on a couple nights!!
Today we are headed to the zoo! Maggie is getting very anxious to leave so i guess i better wrap this up. She can't wait to show brother all the animals. We just read that there are new beaver babies and they should be out for her to see. She's on a roll about leaving now, so i better wrap this up!
I will try to catch up on our posts a little later, i'm sorry we've been a little slackerish this week. I guess you can say busy and not slackerish since we have a newborn. Okay off to the zoo we go!
Here are a couple shots from this week!

Monday, May 26, 2008

Life is Good

Pop-pop and Maggie giving Fionn love when we got home! Yep, he slept through it all!

Mema and Fionn. Lost a sock already! At least his eyes are open a bit!
I love the one of Maggie giving him love in the hammock! He was all snuggled up and she was so happy to get to hold him by herself, esp. in the hammock.

Relaxing in the backyard! We love our hammock that daddy got for us last summer in Nicaragua. It's super comfy. I got to relax in it yesterday with both the kids for a little while.

Getting Ready to come home...

Mommy with Fionn...just waiting for our walking papers! So close to going home at this point!

Our last nurse Natalie. This is an RMU nursing in action picture. Natalie also graduated from Robert Morris' Nursing program. She helped get us out of there as quickly as possible Saturday morning. Thanks for all your help Natalie!! It was GREAT getting him home!
In his carseat...Daddy did the happy dance when he brought Fionn's carseat in for him. How great is this picture. We loved putting him in here! We couldn't believe it was finally time to bring him home.

In the truck: I thought this was great. Daddy's sticker was across his blankets as we drove through the south side! Thank God he finally was on his way home!!

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Last 24 hours in the NICU...

He's home!!
I have to make this a real quick blog, but am going to try and do a couple of real quick ones today. I'm getting good at multi-tasking and while i get Fionn some lunch i can do this at the same time! We have Aunt Sharon, Uncle John and my dad down today and they are all outside with Maggie and Greg loving up Fionn, so i need to head back out to him! Here are some highlights from our last night in the hospital, just thought i would share! I'll post more from yesterday a little later!!

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Almost Wireless

I'm sorry we did not get to post yesterday, it was a BUSY day to say the least, and Fionn got all my attention! It was a GREAT day though! His night nurse(joyce) suctioned him out Thursday night and got all this gunk out of him, and since that he has NO desats! THANK GOD!
They were so happy with his results that they decided to take him off the pulse ox monitor yesterday, and that was what was keeping him here!! As soon as i got here yesterday things started happening... He had already had his head ultrasound before i got here, and it went well. (All babies that are on the Ventilator in the NICU have to have one before they leave to make sure that there are no little bleeds in the brain.) He went for his little circumcision almost immediatly as soon as we discussed it. The nurse said he took it like a man and never cried...well he cried once the pain meds wore off, that's for sure. My poor little baby! It looks so much better today already and i know it will heal fast! After that he got his last dose of antibiotics at noon(horray) Then he had his hearing test after that, then his shots so it was a traumatic day for him. Last night they took out his IV, so all that's left now are the monitors on his chest. Those will stay on until he gets ready to walk out the door according to the nurses.
Thank you all for your prayers yesterday, it seems they were heard. When i woke up yesterday, i told Greg i just didn't think i could leave him here again, and when i got here the nurse asked if we wanted to nest here last night with him. Basically mom and dad come, they get a room with a nice double bed, tv, bathroom, everything like upstairs has on the regular L&D floor AND you can take the baby(wireless) back there with you...I jumped at the chance, so she checked to make sure there was going to be a room available. I was so excited, i ran out and called Greg so he could start making plans and packing up our bag again!!
The nurse came back with the news that the two nesting rooms were full already, BUT there was a sleeping room we could use. lol, they warned me that it was small, but it didn't matter, i was here and could be with my boy! The only thing different with this room is that it only has a single bed, and a pull out chair, no bathroom, AND Fionn couldn't go back there! BOOOOOOOO
We took it anyway.
Mema and pop-pop drove down in the afternoon so that they could stay with Maggie last night and take her to her T-ball game this morning. Mema finally got to hold Fionn and feed him, so now she and pop-pop are even again.
I guess that catches everyone up so far. Fionn and I are just sitting here relaxing, he's sitting on my shoulder just snoozing away as i type. I can't believe he's finally coming home today!! In just a couple hours we'll be out the door and packed up in the truck! Then HOME! Everyone decorated for us last weekend, and people that go by on a daily basis must think we're crazy(or lazy) because we haven't taken ANY of the decorations down yet. And let me tell you, our house is decorated.
I will have to post more later, time to go wake up Greg and call home with directions for Maggie to go to T-ball!
more to come soon!

Thursday, May 22, 2008

My men...

I took these last night and am in LOVE with them. The pictures and my men that is. Greg has been letting me feed Fionn all week(even though i've offered MANY times to let him) so last night was a big moment for the two of them. I finally convinced him it was okay, and just the look on his face told me how much it meant to him. Fionn is starting to respond to us more, and it helps that he is having longer awake periods. Today was a great day for him. They decided to to take him out of the Isolette today, and he finishes his antibiotics tomorrow at noon. He's done so well in the last two days, he's almost home! It's amazing and scary all at the same time!!
I won't lie, it's not any easier leaving him now at night when Greg and Maggie come to collect me, and if Greg would let me, i would probably stay round the clock at the hospital. Last night and tonight were just as bad as Tuesday when they gave me my discharge papers. Yeah it's easier to get in and out of the hospital, no one really pays attention to the woman wandering around with the sad look on her face, not like they did to the couple with all the balloons and flowers proudly announcing "it's a boy" with no baby in tow, but it's still heart-wrenching.
Just like Greg, I know we are lucky and have NO reason to complain. It's just a small set-back, but my heart doesn't hear my brain when it's time to leave his side. My heart melts when i walk out of his pod. The walk out of the NICU makes me feel like the worst mother in the world. I know that I'm not, I know that they know I love Fionn. I spend all day with him, just sitting in his pod, doing as much as they will let me, whereas other babies are often there alone most of the day. That's a whole different story for another day though. It's just SO hard for me to walk away from Magee with him still there! Please, if you could, tomorrow, will you pray for me. U jus don't know if i have the strength to leave him again. I know i only have one more night, but as of right now, i just don't know if i can do it. Poor Maggie, she held my hand tonight and told me not to cry as we left. I try so hard to be strong in front of her, but tonight i just couldn't. My feet are SO swollen, my incision hurts because i hate taking the pills, they make me drowsy and out of it, and i can't be that way with Fionn in the NICU, and i've barely slept in days. No matter how hard i try i can't sleep when we get home at night, and by the time one or two in the afternoon hits at the NICU i'm exhausted. No matter what i do, i end up sleeping at some point in the chair next to Fionn!
Speaking of sleeping, i'm starting to get tired. Before i fall asleep sitting here at the computer i'm going to try to wrap this up. A few hours in a comfy bed are better than none. The last thing i want to add tonight is that everyone please say one extra prayer for our little man tomorrow. He has a lot of big things happening tomorrow, and i'm afraid it might be too much for his little system and send him back a step.
We had a scary moment tonight when Greg was getting ready to feed him. He had been great all day, and then all of a sudden he went into DeSat. His saturation levels dropped, significantly, and we had to blow a little oxygen on him to bring him back up to normal. I watched my husband go pale, and i'm sure it was the daddy instinct, not the nurse one that caused it, but it really shook me. I guess he has a couple desat's a day and that's the reason he's not coming home tomorrow. So please, PLEASE pray for my little handsome man. Let him outgrow it and pray his lungs keep getting stronger and stronger. I've never been as scared as i have been this week. Thank you everyone for calling, emailing, and texting, and commenting. I've barely had my phone on, and i'm sorry i really haven't been up to talking, but i promise i appreciate EVERYTHING. I can't wait to introduce all of you to him. He's really just the most beautiful thing i've ever seen, or i should say he's tied with his big sister in that category, but i'm totally in love! He is the perfect addition of our happy family, and i am truly a blessed woman!
OH, and one more thing....I gave him a good bath today, and do you know what i found when i washed his hair? Start grinning now, he has reddish blond hair mixed in with all that dark stuff. Also his eyes have a bluish tint to them, so we'll see where that goes...
Okay i really need some sleep now otherwise greg will never let me get up early and go back to Fionn. It's already one and i want to be back by 7:30, and i still should pump before bed! more soon...

Life as a glow-worm

It was a quiet day yesterday as Fionn pretty much slept under the light all day. He is stil eating well, he is pooping pretty well too, so hopefully the light were just a precaution. He only moved the shades off his little eyes once or twice, i was surprised. There were a few times he got squirmy but as long as i was right next to his isolette where i could talke to him he did great. It's 6am now, and i just finished pumping some more food for him, and i better hop in the shower otherwise i'll never make it back for his 7:30am feeding

Just a quickie!

I waas going through the videos we shot this week, and just had to share this one. It's only a minute long, but i was upstairs pumping when this happened, so it made me cry when i saw it. Once again, thanks pop-pop for grabbing the camera so i didn't miss this!!

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Highlights from yesterday...

Just a few pics from yesterday!! Some of the highs of an otherwise poopy day!

My son is glowing...

Okay, mommy's turn again. I asked Greg to catch everyone up last night, i was just too tired, physically and emotionally to even string a sentence together. Amazingly, once again, i still couldn't sleep. Not even the drugs could knock me out for long last night. I fulfilled my promise to Greg and strung 4 hours together so i could come back ASAP this morning. He volunteered to stay home with Maggie so they could have a day together today. I'm not sure what all they have planned, but may head for the zoo for Daddy/Maggie time today before heading back here this afternoon. I know that they are going to color Fionn a picture for his room, and look for a tiny little PENS outfit for him for this weekend as well today.
I'm starting to think i'm losing my mind today. I know it's a combination of drugs and lack of sleep, but i swear he's making little noises an I look over and he's still just laying there quietly. His biliruben is a little high today, so as a precaution his nurse(same as yesterday, Stephanie) put him under the lights. He's laying here with his little glasses on, glowing. Maggie had jaundice pretty badly, but she was NEVER calm under the lights. Hence why she had tocome home on the light machine. Every time they took her away from me she just screamed so they let her have her way...
I just went out and got to join all the doctors when they did rounds, and got to discuss what all they have planned for Fionn today with them. Soooo I have GREAT news(as great as it can get when he can't come home yet)He's coming OFF the nasal canula today(no more air) and they are taking out his central line. He's allowed to eat what he wants, and basically just has to have a reg. IV put in to keep giving him his antibiotics!! What a strong, big boy I have!! I'm so proud of him, he's just turned right around in the last 48 hours. Thank you all for your prayers, we all know the power of prayer and you have all made sure we know you're praying, and it's an awesome thing. We thank God for all our friends and family, and want you to all know how much it means to us!
I will blog more a little later, my little glowworm is starting to squirm so that means i get to feed him here in a minute...the best part about that, I get to HOLD him while he tries to eat! I LOVE holding him, touching him, smelling him...But thinking and writing about that will just make me cry and right now

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

2/3rds Came Home Today

Honestly today was one of the toughest days I have ever been faced with, but I rather focus on the positives. So here is the super awesome good news. Fionn no longer has a feeding tube Ging got to nurse him today and then feed him a bottle and .......... he kept the food down so that means the feeding tube is going to stay out. Also he is proving he has some grandpa Hites in him, our son is supposed to have the nasal cannula in place the maintain his oxygen saturations but he is getting stronger and his personality is starting to come out and loves to give us and the nurses fits by removing the tube from his nose and putting it on his forehead. Just thought it was funny. We also had a super wonderful nurse today that just fit with Ging and I's personality and she kept things light and made sure Ging every opportunity to bond with Fionn.
The rest of the day was wicked hard, Ging was given her discharge papers it was the longest walk ever and it felt like all eyes were on us, a Mumma and Daddy with suitcases, bags, balloons, and flowers in toe....but no Fionn. I know that things could be much much worse and I am trying not to complain or whine but my level of anxiety was greatly increased with every step. I tried to move quickly so that I could get Ging into the truck and treat this situation like the proverbial bandaid. Needless to say I tried not to make eye contact with anyone as I tried to sneak out of the hospital all the while I had a oversized balloon that would sing everytime it was bumped so hiding was not an option. We got to the truck and both saw the empty car seat and all bets were off. We were not even out of the hospital and wanted to go back in. Needless to say we made it home I took Maggie Moo to dance class, Mema and Poppop were still at our house Mum was not feeling well (hope you are feeling better now), and Dad was more than willing to take Ging back to hospital so he could see Fionn, and he got to feed him, something that I have not even got to do yet, but I will let it slide, but I am not going to protect him from Mema after she finds out. Ging and I are still taking it moment by moment and trying to see the silver lining everywhere, and want to say thank you to everyone who reads this rambling and offers well wishes and prays because they are felt. thanks again and God bless all of you.

Big Day!

Today(Monday's) Highlights

Fionn's first meal: Even though it wasn't much and didn't go as planned, he did get to eat today. That in itself was a small miracle. I had pumped for him on Friday right after I got to a room, and it was supposed to have been frozen down in the NICU for him until he could eat, BUT...SOMEHOW it just got put in the refrigerator and had to be throw out today...So Fionn's first meal was formula even though i've been pumping like a champ all weekend. I had a bit of a slow start, so i had nothing else in reserve for him.
Yes, he even got his first meal through the tube, but at least he got to eat...that's what i keep telling myself. This picture is actually his second feeding i believe. I got to hold him for both. I even think that i got him a little breastmilk mixed in for this feeding with the formula. Only a couple drops, but at least it was there. I'm trying my hardest for him to associate eating with me(or Greg) and I'm trying to hold him for feedings(if the nurse's cooperate) and i'm even trying to convince him to suck the pacifier while we feed him so that he doesn't have as many issues with feeding when we can start!

hanging on to mom: it may not seem like that big of a deal to most of you, but he's holding on to me! He is showing us that even though we've been allowed limited time holding him, he knows who we are. Tonight I walked in his pod(silently), sat down some milk i brought, washed my hands, and then very, very gently and quietly opened one of the doors on his isolette. His eyes never opened, he didn't make a noise, he just lifted his little hand right to me. What a feeling!! Speaking of that feeling, it's time for another feeding so i better wrap this up...

Snuggling with my daddy and sister!
This is only the second time Maggie's gotten to hold him and you can just look at her face and know what this means to her. Thank you Pop-pop for grabbing the camera and snapping these for me, i LOVE them. What a great big sister Maggie is already. I think from the looks of it she's either A:got his little hand or B:trying to hold his pacifier!

getting love!!!

Okay, more soon...Fionn needs to eat, and i have some milk to run down to him. Another half an hour where i get him in my arms!

Monday, May 19, 2008

Going Home?

Hello all, it is me again. I am trying to do my part and update this while my wonderful exhausted wife gets some much needed rest. Well the NICU rollercoaster is more like a fun house at the Albion Fair, is it something that is familiar and comfortable because you know what to expect at every turn, which right now is fine by me for my personal sanity. Fionn is stable.......all day, not much improvement BUT no regressions so that but is a very large one. But going back to my Albion Fair metaphor, my mind keeps wandering expecting the worst it is like I am living in my own suspense/horror movie and just when I finally get comfortable and let my guard down to enjoy my beautiful baby boy, the eerie music starts playing in the background. I am truly trying to accept the small victories like he is not on a bed warmer he is regulating his own temp, he is not longer my little elephant and stayed stable on his oxygen level eventhough there is room for improvement he is holding on and no steps backward. Another wonderful site is to see how my wife turns aglow and calm washes over her when he is in her arms even with our limited bonding time he knows who mumma and dad are and that means a lot. It is neat to see how a little bundle that can not speak melt the hearts of so many, this evening Mema and Pop-Pop got there first time holding there little boy and lets say there must have been some hay fever blowing through and I will leave it at that but it was sweet to see. So we are getting ready to transition home......without our boy, Ging is getting discharged home Maggie has tee-ball and dance and there will be multiple trips back and forth through the tubes to see our boy and hopefully get off this ride and bring him home Saturday, that is the plan as long things move forward, that is our goal, and then we can worry about silly things like Fionn and Zilla fighting over my lap. Thanks for all of your well wishes and prayers they are felt, and it is good to know that we are not alone. God Bless, signing off................Greg

Promised first day pictures

I know that this isn't the slide show i promised but here are some more pictures from Fionn's first day!! I'm heading back down to the NICU now so will post more info tonight!

Update on Fionn

It doesn't seem possible that it's already been over 48 hours since i've had him. So much has happened, and yes at some points of the day, i'm not sure what day or time it is, but he's worth every confusing/tiring/upsetting/up-lifting moment!!
Today we had another roller-coaster day but are hoping that the worst is over now. We woke up this morning to the news that he was on the lowest vent setting and that they were going to take him off it and just back on the nasal O2 and see how he progressed. We called down a little later as we were getting ready to go down and they stated that he was doing really well on it and if it continued we could possibly try to feed him today at some point... We stopped in the gift shop and got him a little giraffe that WOULD fit in his isolette with him. His monkey and dino were way to big to fit in with him now. So off we went. We were met with his doctor when we got to his pod and told that he was looking great as long as his numbers kept going up then we could hold him again today and even think about nursing him. I did a little jig, and Greg told him how proud he was of him!
I ran to find the nurse and she came in and said it would not be right away, he was breathing a little too heavy still to risk it. We instead sat with him and just stared at how beautiful he was, revelling in the fact that he was off the vent and got off it pretty quickly.
Family and friends started showing up so we shared him with them for short periods of time..
After a little bit though they decided to put him back on the C-pap machine to help him breathe a little easier.
I'm sorry, there is so much more to say, and i fell asleep writing this last night. I'm just running out of strength to write right now.
As of this morning, here is what we do know:C-pap machine is helping, everything looks good. No infection showed up when his 48 hour cultures came back so (*keeping our fingers and toes crossed*) he can come off the antibiotics today and hopefully i'll get to hold him today.
Yesterday was not a good day for me as a mom. I struggled and am still struggling this morning. When we had family in yesterday some nurse(who was not even Fionn's nurse) came in and was a little rude(to me) and it just really got to me. Beween her and the other nurse that we had that was taking care of Fionn, they wouldn't really let me take care of him. All the other nurses and doctors had let me do what i could to help, and they just basically pushed me out of the way. So here i am, longing to hold him, touch him, anything, ANYTHING to connect with my beautiful little boy. I had to leave the NICU and come back to my room for a while when the mean nurse told me to just shut the isolette up and leave him alone. He was not sleeping, he was crying, and i was touching him like i always do. He knows it's me, he calms down and holds onto me. How in the world do they think i can just sit there next to him, hear him scream and not try to comfort him...
I struggled very hard with that yesterday, spent time in the afternoon upstairs yesterday, feeling helpless. I had Greg take everyone down yesterday to say "see you soon" to Fionn before they all drove home, but just stayed here so that i wouldn't break down in Fionn's little room again from not being able to even touch him.
I can't delve into those emotions right now, otherwise i'll never make it down to him this morning. I'm having a hard time staying awake(pain killers) yet again so i will post more from today a little later. I'm hurting today, physically, so please think of me today while you are praying. Physical pain is no where near my emotional pain of not being able to hold and feed Fionn but it's still present today and it just further complicates things.
Thank you all for all the great emails and phone calls, it helps knowing we have so many people on our side. He still has many hurdles to overcome before we will even know anything really, and we are praying for some answers today.
I'm going to go post a couple new pics and then go see my son. Greg is still asleep and he looks like he's in no hurry to wake up and get moving so i'll just let him test a little more!! Last night was the first night since Thursday that we both actually slept!!
More soon, i promise!...

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Update on My Baby Boy

Hello all, it's me.....Greg, my wonderful and amazing wife who started this blog gave me the privilege to drop a note, I just wish I had something insightful to say but unfortunately I have had somewhere between 5-7 hours of sleep since waiting up Friday morning when we got Maggie ready for her Pre-K graduation. We are experiencing the wonderful NICU emotional roller coaster high highs, stomach dropping curves, and rock bottom crashing dives, all I know is I am holding on with one white knuckled hand the other wrapped around Ging, bitting my bottom lip so I don't puke, but leaving the corner of my mouth open as I scream in glee, all the while with one eye clenched shut for fear of worst that is reddened and still wet because I cannot stop crying but the other eye wide open spying at my perfect, beautiful little boy, my wonderful wife, and little princess. I am hoping and praying that this cruel and usual ride is almost over, and even though that I am at my wits end, and my grip is loosing strength I think and see my family, my immediate family here supporting us, and our extended family and friends that are reading this I find a little more strength to keep going because I am in LOVE with an AMAZING woman that has given me the most amazing gift that even though I have only held him once I feel like the luckiest man in the world and will keep my butt planted on this ride and see it through because the big man upstairs has a plan and has surrounded my with everything I need and more things than I could have ever dreamed of.

Fionn is doing well, he was extubated sometime this morning (taken off the ventilator) was placed on a nasal cannula but moved backwards, slightly and is on a C-PAP machine which somewhere in between the nasal cannula and vent. He has been stable and resting comfortably, unfortunately no holding, and minimal touching because they are trying to reduce his stimulus which is REALLY hard because all we want is to bond with our little guy. For the Steeler fans he has his terrible towel in his isolate bed and he has some Penguin stuff so he representing the black and gold proudly. Well I am getting drowsy and may try to take a quick nap, if you are reading this please feel free to drop us a comment to let us know how you all are. Thanks to listening to ramble.

PS. I want to thank my WONDERFUL wife for being the most AMAZING woman I know, I know that this process has not been easy by any stretch and we are not even getting out of the woods but I LOVE you and together just like we always do.

PSS. I Love You Maggie Moo, Daddy misses you and HAPPY PENGUIN DAY!!!!!!!!!


Hard Night in the NICU...
I hate having to write this right now. Fionn had the best day today, he improved all day and we were happy and in great spirits all day. I had just nodded off to sleep and one of the docs from the NICU came up because Fionn was in trouble. After we left him tonight he started having some problems breathing so they watched him for a while and turned his O2 back up. They told us this could happen, he had a big day, so we should not be alarmed if we came in tomorrow morning and his O2 levels were up. We were prepared for this, after all, it was a GREAT day. Just look at that face, life was great tonight.
So back to the doctor waking me up...They had to put Fionn on a Vent tonight and came up seeking permission for a central line. He wasn't a fan of them sticking him for all the blood work and they told us he was a "hard stick" and they were having to stick him over and over again to do all the tests. With this line in, it would make life easier for him. Greg and I(through our tears) agreed to let them put in the central line and are just waiting for word right now so we can go back down and be with him. The doc that came up is not my favorite doctor in the NICU so that alone gave me some anxiety. The doc that we dealt with all day told us how great Fionn was doing and the more we touched and talked and held the better. This doctor basically just told us to wait until tomorrow...we stuck with our nurses and original doc and loved him all we could.
They did just let us race down before the central line went in to see him and he clung to our fingers. He is still breathing on his own, the vent is just there to help in case he gets "tired" and they gave him a shot of Cerfactin(sorry is spelling is wrong) to help his lungs out a little bit. So far it looks like it's helping even though we are now taking a few steps back and now they have to tell us what could still go wrong at this point...
We will no longer be able to hold him, or really touch him. They will have to put him in an isolette as well instead of the bed he was in. Greg and I are headed back down there to spend the night with him in his room just talking to him. We just want him to hear our voices. I am so worried about Maggie in the morning. She got to hold him tonight and fully expects to tomorrow as well. She is, once again, sleeping in Mommy and Daddy's bed tonight for comfort, so i'm still a little concerned for her. Please pray for her, that she, in that amazing little four year old mind, comprehends that he is okay, and will be okay, he just needs a little help right now.
Please, please continue to pray for Fionn. Originally it was just two days of being in the NICU, now we have no real answers. I'm longing to hold my precious baby boy, that little bit of time i got with him tonight was not enough. He calmed down once his head was on my chest and he could hear my heart. I long to fall asleep with him on my chest and to be able to feed him. I've still not been able to nurse him and we were shooting for that in the morning. There's just something unsettling about not feeding your newborn.
Please pray for Greg and I as well, we are really struggling with all of this and are trying hard to find answers to why this happened to Fionn. Everything looked great with him my whole pregnancy until just a couple days ago. I am really hoping a shower will make me a feel a little better, so im going to wrap this up so i can get that accomplished before they call that his procedure is over.
I will post again soon! Please feel free to leave us comments and let us know you were here!

Update on Fionn

I am way too tired tonight to go through and edit all the pictures that I took of Fionn today, so instead i just made a slide show of all of them! He is the most beautiful thing, and I'm already missing him tonight. I know that i need to sleep(i've yet to and it's almost midnight) but all i want is to go down and kiss him again and snuggle him! It took until about 4pm today, but we finally got to hold him. Maggie was right there with Greg and I, but pouted until she got her hands on him. She was so upset last night that she had to sleep in Mommy and Daddy's bed just so she could get to sleep. What a weekend for our little family!
Fionn is still down in the NICU. His color looks good and his breathing is getting better so we're hoping tomorrow at some point he'll be joining us upstairs...
The slideshow should be up and running by won't let me upload it right now!!

Saturday, May 17, 2008



Well as most of you already know we got a surprise and today was Fionn's birthday!! Things did not go quite as planned and some complications came up, so they thought that today would be better than tomorrow morning.
Here's the basic's: 6 pounds 11 ounces, 19 1/2 inches long and he was born at 11:11pm!
Here's the background...I was seeing a high risk Ob-Gyn practice here at Magee due to complications with Maggie's birth. Most of you know, but for those of you that don't, i had pre-clampsia with Maggie and ended up having an abruption with Maggie while in labor, hence and emergency C-section! With this pregnancy i have gestational diabetes and it only complicates everything further! They were letting me have him this week to try to avoid the pre-clampsia and further complications....The only catch, i had to have an amnio today(yipee)
Once I got in for the Amnio, they noticed that my (amniotic) fluid levels were getting really low. I had thought Weds. that my water broke anyway, so i was not surprised by this news. They took the test to make sure his lungs were mature(no c-section until next week if they were not) and then they called my doc to let them know that my levels were low...the doc in turn took me back down to the office and did a non-stress test from where we were sent up to Labor and Delivery to have Fionn today!!
We got to the hospital a little before 1 today, and were told that we were scheduled for my c-section at 9, give or take if there was an emergency. Around 8, the doctors came in to talk to us. Fionn's test results were in from the Amnio. The results showed immature still! Then they threw in that at this gestation that if the results were a positive then they were 100% mature, if they were still measuring Immature however, it could more than likely just be a false positive.
And then the kicker....reasons why my levels could be so low when they were fine last Friday. My placenta was probably starting to poop out, as they put it, putting me(and Fionn) in danger. So it became a matter of which was the bigger risk. The lack of fluid won.
The c-section(which did not start until a little after 10) went well, it took them a while to get to him. When they did he came out yelling and they stated that everything looked really good. As they were evaluating Fionn his little cry began to weaken and he started having a little issue with breathing. We had two pediatricians right there in the room with us due to the diagnosis we had received a couple hours ago and they decided that it was best that Fionn went down the NIC-U. They brought him over and amid our tears, i got to touch his little head before the whisked him off.
We had not told the family ahead of time what could happen, just because they were not sure if it would or not, so why worry everyone for no reason. We had just found out a little before they got here and we felt like we would deal with that bridge if we had to cross it...
Well we're now at that bridge, and BEGGING for prayer for our little man. It's 4am, i can't sleep. My son is downstairs in the NIC-U all alone. They told me to just give him some time to sleep and it would do us both good, but unless they drug me, drug me, i'm just sitting her waiting to be allowed to go see him again! I got to kiss him for the first time around 2, and that was only because his nurse took pity on me as i (bawling) was just trying to touch him. They are not really sure what is going on, he's grunting(pretty continuously)and that is a sign of distress in newborns. His chest x-ray looked good, but he still has more tests to do. We MAY get to hold him tomorrow, but that all depends on his breathing throughout the night. Maggie and rest of the family left sometime around 1am and Maggie cried all the way out. Please pray for her, her little gentle heart, all she wanted was to see him, hold him, and kiss him! She is, like the rest of us, pretty scared right now.
Fionn will spend the next two days(at least) in the NIC-U as they are treating him with Antibiotics so he will need to stay there no matter what. They have all kinds of bloodwork out, and really are not sure what is going on. It could just be trauma from the transition of birth and he'll be breathing fine by tomorrow...that's what we're praying for!!
Please pray for our little boy, this was one of the hardest nights of my life, knowing the pain i was feeling, and then watching Greg cry at the same time. He can barely look at him in the NIC-U, not knowing what's going on is killing him. He's finally asleep in the chair beside my bed, but he's not resting comfortably. He's only asleep because his body finally shut off. I'm hoping mine will follow suit soon. I was up at 5:30am yesterday and my brain just won't shut off. I should be holding Fionn right now, trying to fee him, but instead here i am, listenting to Greg sleep and wondering if it's too soon to try to pump some more precious milk for my baby boy!
They should be coming to change my bandages soon, but i can't really feel any pain. The spinal wore off very quickly but my brain isn't really registering anything but Fionn right now!
Okay here they come to check on me, i need to ask about Fionn....i will post more soon...PLEASE pray, PLEASE!!

btw, we are in Magee hospital, room 5307 if anyone wants that information. I'm sure we'll be spending most of our time in the NIC-U but there it is anyone wants it!!

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Maternity Pictures

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Some from the zoo last month!

Zarah came down for a week last week and these are a couple of the girls from the zoo last month! It was a blast having her here! As you can see they had fun, and it was a beautiful day!!