Heavy Heart

I did not intend to post tonight, I really want to be in my bed snuggling with Greg, but my heart is heavy and I feel the need to share how I am feeling. This week has just been so overwhelming, and it is starting to make my head spin. I had a NILMDTS call last night, and even though I can't tell you anything about the family, it hit too close to home.
The situation was NOT just like Fionn's, there were many more complications, BUT all the same doctors were there last night. The exact same dr. who did my C-section, was there in the room with them. They had Dr. Emory, who was our specialist at Maternal Fetal Medicine there with them, and thier baby was rushed off to the NIC-U just like ours. I waited with the family, watching their loved ones agonize over not really having any information, just like our family did last year...
I am so sorry to each and every one of you that were there with us, who we chose NOT to tell that there MAY be an issue. Greg and I really did think that it was best just to wait and see. We were so close to going in to the Operating Room that we didn't want anyone else to worry in case he was going to be just fine.
Sitting there last night, waiting for word from the NIC-U, waiting to go down, watching all the family agonize brought it all home for me. Going back in the NIC-U, into the intake room...it was the first time being in THAT room since Fionn was in there. It shook me to my core today after I got home.
I love what I do, I love being able to give back to these families. I know that I can handle it, and would never let it overtake my desire to give back, but my heart hurts this week. So many babies, so many families in crisis this week. So many people hurting and just praying for the best. Oh to be naive and live in a world where every pregnant woman brings home a pink, happy bundle...
I'm giving it all to you Lord, praying that you bring these families through as only you can. To be with them all, to comfort them, as your will is brought about for their lives...
Only YOU know the outcome of these tiny little babies, our most precious gifts from you...Only YOU know the pain that these families are going through. Please direct me, to direct all of us on how to serve them better. To show them that we care, and want to lift them all to you. Lord, PLEASE bring peace over these familes, help them to feel your presense there with them as they go through this trial.

Please my friends, help us pray for these tiny babies, and for their families. There are so many families in pain, more than we will ever realize, over babies that they want and love so much. So many families looking for a miracle, not daring to ask for one, but just leaving it all in God's hands...only HE knows the fate of these families, the story he's already written for all of them.

I'm starting to fight back tears as I try to type this, so I think it's time to wrap it up. Tomorrow is a new day, and I can't wait to wake up and see what the day brings. To wake up and see what the Lord reveals to us. I will be on my knees for you sweet friends, hoping for the best possible results!! Until then...