Friday, October 10, 2008

Not up to par...

Forgive me please if I'm quiet for a few days. Yesterday was a very VERY emotionally draining day and I think I'm starting to come down with something, so i'm going to focus on relaxing the next couple days, and no posting.

Yesterday was supposed to be a big day with us doing the "Spirit Walk" at Maggie's school with her, and since it was raining, i called TWICE to make sure that it was/was not happening. I was told 10 minutes before it was supposed to begin that it was NOT. We were in the truck, Greg came home from work early, and we had a jacket and umbrella on our way down when I called and they said it was cancelled. They instead chose to go ahead with it a little later and put a garbage bag on my daughter as rain protection....GRRRRRRRRRRRRR! They couldn't find her sweatshirt, and chose to cover her t-shirt and sweatpants with a garbage bag...i cannot even begin to tell you how angry this made me. When I expressed that I was upset the Principal called me this morning and basically told me that my schedule wasn't as important as the person who took a half day off(who i really like) and scheduled the event's so she could be there for it.
I just don't know how that makes me feel...
I have been doing in-service training at Magee for all the NICU staff this week, and I pushed back my in-service date yesterday so I could do both, the walk and my NILMDTS in-service. It's tiring, and emotionally exhausting to explain to these nurses why we do what we do and why they should inform the families of our services. Over the weekend I had a session, and it hit me hard. Another beautiful life, a beautiful family that had to experience this tragedy. I wish I could say that I only get these calls every so often, but I already have another session lined up for next week. The parents, the brothers and sisters, it's what reminds me of why I do this, to give them just one small piece of their beautiful babies to carry with them always. I guess it's only hard because I let it hit me that way, I grieve with them instead of just turning the emotion off. If i didn't feel the emotion though, i would be scared at the person I've become...
So for a few days, I'm just going to sit back and enjoy my babies. We're going home tomorrow night, the kids and I, and I may not even take the laptop. I just need a little time to relax and recoop.
Thank you, all of you that follow us on our journey. Life is glorious, and God has blessed me so. My cup runneth over, and I'll be sure to tell you all about our crazy antics next week!
a few more pictures from this past weekend...Fionn loved touching the baby ducklook we really do have pictures with me in themGreg showing Maggie how to pump the water for the rubber ducky race!

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