Saturday, March 29, 2008

And the results are....

Yep, Gestational Diabeties! Augh! There are no other words for it. I know it's temporary and people live with and fight this disease daily, but i just feel so let down i guess is the right word. I was just hoping and praying the this pregnancy would be easier, that I could enjoy it a little more.
With Maggie I had so many complications and I was so scared that I literally cried everyday. It seemed like the longest 37 weeks of my life. The minute i held her, it was all justified. Every miserable point that i had in my pregnancy was all worth it. I know most moms can tell you that it's not easy having a baby, that labor is horrible, but that they honestly can't remember how painful it was, because it all went away as soon as they touched or looked at their child. I laughed at all those women, thought, yeah right, laughed at the ones that said they never knew what love really was until the moment they met their child. Then I had Maggie. What a glorious Lord we have, to give us such gifts. What clarity comes in those first few moments with your child. Everything in the world makes sense suddenly...
Here comes the emotions again, I'm sure it's the pregnancy hormones, but as I sit here looking down at my crooked belly(he's in a weird position)it's sad to think that this is it, my last baby. I always said that I was done after I had Maggie, but God had other plans. He let me know once again, he had other plans for me. And what wonderful plans they have been. What a wonderful husband I have, i never thought i would truly be this lucky. And now Fionn! It seems the circle has completed and my life is amazing, and it's barely begun!
So even if this is, or is not, my last baby, I will enjoy this pregnancy to the very last minute. NO matter how uncomfortable, how annoying the testing may seem to be, as long as it keeps him safe it will all be worth it in the end!!

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